#4: Overthought

I almost didn’t send this. Here’s why.

Process check-in:

86 subscribers!!!! Just four weeks in and only 14 to go till 100! 🥳🥳🥳

Also, to those committed followers who came down on me for “missing a week,” please give me a pass, I just finished finals. Smoother seas ahead!

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This week’s edition is kind of meta — a term cool kids use for something that refers to itself (at least, I think it is… don’t ever quote me on cool-speak 🤓).

Now that we’re a month in, I want to reflect on a very real anxiety that plays out in this very space and share what goes on as I prepare to send out each newsletter:

If my inner dialogue was a Zoom meeting, the following would be the AI generated transcript, except all the words are intact:

The Perfectionist: We’re almost there, let’s just hyper-edit the whole thing one more time.

The Enabler: Omg! I’m pretty sure we need a comma there… PHEW, much better!

10 minutes later:

The Deliberator: Actually? It was way better without that comma.

The Reinforcer: You’re right! There it is, the flow is perfect now.

The Deliberator: But that closing line — is it punchy enough? Let’s brainstorm some more.

The Enabler: Hmm, maybe you’re onto something…

The Deliberator: And that subject line. I don’t know why, it’s just not hitting the spot.

And so on.

And so on.

And so on….

But of course, it’s not just this newsletter: It’s sending that text. Starting that new project. Speaking up in that meeting…

It’s all those deliberations over peripheral details that feel urgent in the moment, but never actually matter in the long run.

But here’s the question, why am I this way? Dare I say, why are we this way??

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Three reasons we overthink:

And the scientifically supported basketball coach-style reframes I (try to) feed myself. There’s more than three, but just go with it:

• Fear of Rejection
  We overanalyze everything to avoid that yucky feeling of being misunderstood, disliked, or ignored.

  • What I tell myself: People won’t notice. If they do, they’ll forget. If they don’t, I’ll survive.

• The Control Fallacy
  Overthinking offers a comforting illusion: if we can predict every outcome, we can prevent the bad ones, right?

  • What I tell myself: Wrong. I can only control what I can control. Life goes on.

• Perfection Paralysis
  We procrastinate and obsess over details because we’re afraid of getting it wrong.

  • What I tell myself: You’re human. Do it imperfectly, or don’t do it at all. Your call.

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The takeaway:

By naming these thought patterns, we can recognize when they show up in our internal dialogue, then channel our inner teenager and go “whatever“ 🤷‍♂️

In other words, Nike got it right:

Just do it.

I don’t know what “it” is for you, but more than likely, doing it won’t kill you (not medical, financial, or legal advice).

So close your eyes, scrunch them tight as your life flashes before your eyes… and literally or proverbially, just hit send.

There, you did your part, and now it’s out of your control.

So strut in slow motion toward the camera like the main character at the end of a superhero movie.

Talk soon,

Eli Kravitz

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PS: I totally had fun with the formatting this week. Hope you enjoyed :)

PPS: I’ve got question for you… What’s a topic you would like me to cover? Please reply or comment to let me know!