#2: (rose)Petal to the Metal

One small step for you, one giant leap from anxiety.

Process check-in: I decided to be a big boy and blast out the email info, despite feeling completely uneasy about this whole thing.

I am blown away by getting from 13 wonderful subscribers to 54! (If your math isn’t mathing, that’s just 46 away from my goal of 100!)

I thank each of you deeply for subscribing and sharing. Cookies for everyone 🍪🍪🍪

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My second email! (ahhh *flaps nervously*)

*deep breath* Here goes:

I met with a client today who shared a rough story. We’ll call him Sean.

Sean grew up in a dangerous neighborhood, surrounded by violence and drug use. To be clear, Sean didn’t grow up on the wrong side of the tracks—he grew up on the tracks, under a collapsing bridge (proverbially speaking).

Sean came to see me because he can’t stop the racing thoughts about bad things that might happen. He’s exhausted, constantly stressed, and underperforming at work.

Why am I telling you this? Because what happened next really amazed me:

I asked Sean if there was anything good going on in his life (beginner therapist transparency: it felt like a safe bet 🤷‍♂️). Sean went on to describe a few things going well for him.

But the interesting thing is that as he talked, I noticed a surprising shift: Sean’s posture relaxed, his tone became less heavy, and he even smiled a little (classic new therapist’s cha-ching! moment).

When I pointed this out, Sean paused and said, “Yeah… I actually feel a bit better right now.”

I don’t have a happily-ever-after ending to Sean’s story, we’ve just started working together. But here’s what I took from that moment:

Sean can’t change the past.

But Sean could (and did) commit to shifting his attention from potential bad events to the present good ones.

We didn’t call it a gratitude journal. We called it “proof that something went right today.”

The takeaway:

Everyone experiences challenging events at some point. It’s part of being human. And while we can’t change that, we can choose to focus on one or a few positive aspects of our day, and enjoy the benefits of that simple shift.

The good news is, this practice re-trains our attention to focus on positive moments throughout the day. Even if it’s just:

• Seeing an old friend

• Hitting the green lights

• Getting to your coffee before it’s cold…

A short second to think about the little things has long term impacts.

Over time, this approach is proven to reduce stress and increase happiness.

Try it and let me know how it goes!

Until next time,

Eli

PS: If you liked this email, please tell a friend. And if you didn’t, please tell your therapist.